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“Muffin-top” is a generally pejorative, slang term used to describe the phenomenon of overhanging flesh when it spills over the waistline of trousers or skirt in a manner that resembles the top of a muffin spilling over its paper casing. This generally occurs when an individual wears low-rise, hip-hugger pants, or midriff-baring tops that are too small.

Ladies it is fairly simple to avoid the dreaded “Muffin Top.” I hope that this blog provides some much needed support and guidance to my mirror challenged females. If you can pinch more than an inch on your waist please take the following into consideration when purchasing your favorite pair of low-rise vagina baring jeans or miniskirts.

Rule #1- If you are over 15 you  SHOULD NOT WEAR LOWRISE JEANS…EVER!!! This particular style and cut is in the juniors section for a reason and a “WOMAN” should never wear a style cut for a TWEEN!

Rule #2- The Baby Tee is also not a look of a classy woman… So unless you are 12 or a porn-star this look is best left alone. A baby tee on a grown woman screams desperate cougar! do you want to look like a cougar? No! then please for the love of Brittney Spears leave the baby tees for the babies.

Rule #3- DO NOT under any circumstance combine the two above mentioned fashion faux-pas. This will result in the ever dreaded Muffin Top! This is not a good look on anyone. Even the thinnest anorexic waif will look like a fat ass in a baby tee and low rise jeans. Throw in a visible G-String and you have the makings of a uniform reserved for only the classiest of common whores.

So ladies stop worrying so much what that little tag in the back of your pants reads. Try on as many pairs of jeans you have to until you fit the perfect pair of “Good Butt” Jeans and you will never again have to worry about gut spillage. Plus you will feel confident with all the nice butt comments you get instead of “Nice Gut.”

Many chain stores such as the gap now carry jeans designed for larger hipped ladies. The jeans are cut perfectly to accentuate the positive and camouflage the negative.

Go forth and conquer the denim world. Plus we all know you are not kidding anyone with that baby tee and low rise jeans. Honey if you are 40 and fantastic work it and stop playin!

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